The other day, my mom asked me if I worry about people reading about themselves in my blog. Obviously I don’t because if I did, I wouldn’t have created a website and it wouldn’t be all over my Facebook page. Next thing you know it will have an Instagram account, a Twitter handle and a Pinterest board.
All of this ridiculousness needs an outlet and I figure that the people I write about could use the self-awareness, free of charge. The likelihood of any of them reading it is slim to none because to say that I am estranged from them all is an understatement. There is a block feature on cell phones for a reason. And let’s talk about that feature for a minute… With the increase in telemarketing calls and people telling me the IRS has a warrant out for my arrest, I am far more liberal in using it than I ever have been before. Not to mention the messages left in other languages that are probably telling me that my entire life has been hacked and I should send money to a Nigerian prince immediately. It is just better not to know.
I guess it is good that I have my mother to keep me in line except she told me that I am not allowed to write about our family. How is that fair? There is so much good material! I come from a long line of nutters. To say we are an eccentric bunch only skims the surface.
Do strangers care that my very macho Australian Dad wears night shirts (DO NOT CALL THEM NIGHTGOWNS) to bed that say things like, “The Cat’s Pajamas” and are covered in dancing cats or “Let Sleeping Dogs Lie” with a bunch of dogs all over it? He also puts on his nightshirt and robe when he is ready for dinner guests to go home. You know it is time to call it a night when Dad comes out fully dressed for bed.
Maybe the truth is that Mom doesn’t want me to write about her but everyone else is fair game. I should probably figure that out before I say too much and get disowned. I would hate to be written out of the will and lose the chance to inherit her flamingo collection…
My Broken Picker 
“With the increase in telemarketing calls and people telling me the IRS has a warrant out for my arrest, I am far more liberal in using it than I ever have been before. Not to mention the messages left in other languages that are probably telling me that my entire life has been hacked and I should send money to a Nigerian prince immediately. It is just better not to know.”
I totally get that this wasn’t at all the point of your post, but I couldn’t help but empathize here. I was getting a crap ton of marketing calls daily until I Googled the problem and discovered that there’s an app for that! Didn’t eliminate them completely, but it helped a lot. I don’t even remember the name of the app, but there were a couple of ones that had good reviews.
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Thank you for the heads up!
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At first I was worried that your mom was thinking *only* of people who’re already gone from your life. She was worried an ex-bf might find your blog, read, and be hurt. But that seems less likely than your theory about relatives. I think silly nightshirts are fair game for this kind of thing, as long as you act like you know you were being naughty if they say something about it.
But while I was thinking how crummy it would be if your mom were worried about former partners reading your thoughts, there was a specific reason why:
Say that really were the case. And say that something were still troubling you about the dude months or years later. It tickled your brain until you felt like you had to write a whole mini-essay to get it out of your system. And this of course is the truth (or your truth) about the guy. And even after it drove you crazy PAST the expiration date of the relationship…you were still supposed to bottle it up? How messed up would that have been?
This seemed alarming because your posts never mention anything that was so awful you couldn’t even tell the guy you noticed it about him. I mean, if they were violent and dangerous, THEN you could act natural and run. But if the dude is just flaky or shallow or whatever, you can always be like “dang, you just don’t like planning ahead, do you?” and see if they laugh. You of all people are personable and kind and funny enough to get away with that at any time.
But maybe not with family. Any relationship that goes back all the way to someone’s birth always comes with weird baggage, and sometimes ya gotta leave some things alone.
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So true!
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I put your mom’s advice in the better to be safe than sorry category. It’s so easy for parents, and other helpful or well-intentioned people to Rome this type of blanket advice. This is generally the same group of non-risk takers who take the road well traveled because they know what to expect. It’s not a bad thing, there’s nothing wrong with that approach, it’s safe. Those of us that have fun on the fringe generally have more ups and downs but they are often more rewarding albeit gone with a few extra bumps and scrapes. Do what’s right for you.
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My mom doesn’t actually care that much. She is super supportive and loves that I am doing this.
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