You know you spend too much time at the coffee shop near your house when,
1) Your father calls it your “office” and asks if you are there every time he calls.
2) You are contemplating getting a job as a barista because you might just as well get paid for being there.
3) You get pissed when “your” seat by the fire isn’t available.
4) The baristas all know you by name and you know them – Aaron grew up as a Mormon, Meg is dating her roommate and Bridgette’s father is Australian. Yes, there are more than three people who work here. I am sure I will cover all of them in time.
5) You can identify the regulars and are worried you might turn into some of them, specifically the older ladies who look like they have brought their entire life with them and are very vocal about the new lay-out of the store. Not in a good way. At least they still get out of the house. Although I wish the creepy bearded guy who always moves closer to me would stay at home.
Just a little side bar here…. How do women manage to pee all over the toilet seat? I get it with men but women? And then when you do pee all over the seat ladies, why don’t you mop it up? Those seat covers only absorb so much. This is one of the struggles at my “office.” Sharing a bathroom with the general population as I do.
The reason I spend so much time at this coffee shop is because I am unemployed. Luckily it was a choice (although getting unemployment would help) but I am heading into my tenth month of it and I am no closer to knowing what I want to do than when I quit my job. I was Chief of Staff to a Corporate Vice President at an enormous company. We worked on supply chain and procurement. Super sexy stuff. So sexy that I had a panic attack from the stress and woke up on the floor. I was also going through a ridiculous break-up so I think that might have contributed. Let’s just call it the perfect storm, shall we? As I was lying on the floor, instead of wondering why I was prostrate and short of breath, I was looking up at my boss frustrated that he wasn’t in his office waiting for the new admin I just hired. My priorities were totally on track.
So now I am reminding myself that there is more to life than climbing the corporate ladder and I figure that in between applying for jobs that I am not sure I want, I can write about the weirdness of being 41 and feeling like I am starting over. Maybe I can become Instafamous for being middle-aged and hanging out at Starbucks all the time. I guess I need to leak a sex video with someone semi-famous first…