I have come to the realization that I am too set in my ways to live with another person again. The words that come to mind are OCD, curmudgeon and not bloody likely. This isn't to say that I will never date again although, see title of blog, that is an entirely different issue. Basically, … Continue reading Cohabitation just isn’t my bag.
I don't want to be an adult any more. I want to go back to being 5, when I thought I was Princess Leilani of Wailuku. I was convinced that I was stolen away from my real family by some Australian interlopers who forced me to live with them, away from the people who really … Continue reading #adultingishard
If I don't look my age, whose age do I look? Can I choose? Do I go young and pick someone in their 20s or do I say older because they look amazing? Would Helen Mirren be acceptable? She is in her 70s and is killing it. Seeing that I just had my birthday I … Continue reading You don’t look your age.
For the last week, I have been staying with my mom, to help her clean out the closets. The timing is perfect since my Dad is out of town and we can make piles all over the house without someone asking, "What are you doing? What is this? Why is it here? What is all … Continue reading I am definitely not a minimalist.
I know that yoga is supposed to be a place to clear your mind and be one with the floor or whatever your goals are. For me, it is a great place to work through those annoying thoughts that flood my mind when I am getting ready to fall asleep at night. As soon as … Continue reading A place where I can think…
The last time I was in Saigon, I was 19 and one of the only things I remember is my aunt’s friend Maurizio (an Italian veterinarian who specializes in camels or more specifically, the fleas found on camels….), smuggling rare turtles back to Cambodia in his underpants. We bought them at the pet market and … Continue reading Saigon, how you have changed.
Imagine our surprise when we got off the VietJet transfer bus and saw an Olympus Airways (https://www.olympusairways.gr/) plane on the tarmac in front of us. We were even more surprised when we got on the plane to Da Nang and there was an entirely European crew wearing one type of uniform plus two crew members … Continue reading Olympus Airways has seen better days…
When is it flirting and when is it being friendly? Are they working on business development or are they truly interested? You know that feeling when you aren't sure if the bartender is being nice or just trying to pad his tip? I feel like personal trainers, servers, real estate agents and hair stylists are … Continue reading Flirting or Business Development?*
I have written about the Starbucks' bathroom before but I feel like what I saw today deserves a mention. The Starbucks I frequent is in the middle of an affluent neighborhood in Seattle. There are very few homeless people, not a lot of bars and it is a pretty low-key place. This is the Starbucks … Continue reading Sex, drugs and rock & roll in the Starbucks bathroom…
I hate how reliant I am on my phone. If only I could go back to the days when my entire life wasn't connected to it. I still have my written to do list but that doesn't help with my list of appointments and reminders to get to them. Not to mention the frustration of … Continue reading Not today, Apple!
How is it possible that a city of 22 million people and a metro area that extends farther than the eye can see, be so inviting and accessible? You would think the size would make it intimidating and the number of people would seem overwhelming but it is neither of those things. Of course you … Continue reading Aventuras en la Ciudad de México
Well, I just wrote an email to a complete stranger on the internet asking for advice. That is totally normal, right? Instagram influencers definitely have a handle on what an unemployed marketing director should be doing with her life. Why would I go to a career coach? See this pot of spaghetti? I am throwing … Continue reading How’s the job search going?
*Written under the influence of cold meds. Can we please draw the line when it comes to talking on cell phones in public restrooms? Why do people feel the need to have conversations in there? If the call is so important, shouldn't your focus be on that rather than your bladder? Or if you have … Continue reading Do you really need that in here?*
Breaking News - I went to a bar on New Year's Eve! I rang in the New Year at the Snorting Elk at Crystal Mountain, a ski resort just outside Seattle. I can't remember the last time I went to a bar, let alone a bar where people are actively looking for a hook-up. Spoiler … Continue reading The Bar Scene.
My mom and I have been telling Dad for ages that he needs to get his ears checked. Of course being a stubborn man of a certain age he says that his hearing is fine and that we don't speak clearly or aren't speaking directly to him. Apparently speaking a little bit louder, looking at … Continue reading I AM NOT DEAF!
Christmas is almost here and with it my next slog to the airport. I love the idea of travel but hate the actuality of it - airports, planes, people... And let's be real here, airports are where social norms go to die. At times I feel like it is a glimpse into what armageddon might … Continue reading The Wonders of Air Travel
My father and I are very close but are diametrically opposed when it comes to politics and the nature of political correctness. While I have never heard him use the term snowflake, I am sure he has thought it. Before you start thinking he is up there with David Duke, let me clarify by saying … Continue reading My Dad, the Great Australian Comedian.
When it comes to dating, instead of doing that equation where you cut your age in half and add seven, my math is a little different. My thought process is as follows - if they were born after I got my period for the first time or was legally considered an adult, I am open … Continue reading Age & Dating
I have my first troll! Does this mean that I am on my way to making it? How many trolls do you need to be considered successful? Is there an equation that for every troll there are 10 people who like what you have to say? In that case, bring on the haters! Supposedly feedback … Continue reading thank u, next
It is hard for people to believe that I played roller derby. I have no tattoos, minimal piercings, played non-contact sports growing up, and was never considered overtly agressive. I had roller skated once in my life, when I was 4, and I wouldn't call holding my grandmother's hand while shuffling 5 feet actual roller … Continue reading Your friend’s name is what?!?
I did something super impulsive while I was on vacation a few months ago... I actually gave in to the moment and hooked up with someone. Most of my friends would commend me for letting loose and say it was about time. However, I am completely neurotic and not very good at chalking it up … Continue reading Asking for a friend…
I complain about being single and I never do anything to change it so last night I opened the dating apps again. I thought that maybe this time I would be able to commit and actually message someone, chat a little bit and then go out for coffee. All I could think as I swiped … Continue reading I tried again…sort’ve.
The other day, my mom asked me if I worry about people reading about themselves in my blog. Obviously I don't because if I did, I wouldn't have created a website and it wouldn't be all over my Facebook page. Next thing you know it will have an Instagram account, a Twitter handle and a … Continue reading What if they read about themselves?!?
I know it is a necessity but why does it have to be so horrible? I lie there, under the bright lights with those stupid protective glasses on, and everything is clenched like I am in fight or flight mode. My insurance allows me to go three times a year so of course I do … Continue reading Going to the Dentist.
"You will meet someone when you least expect it." Least expect what? I have never understood that saying. And why doesn't it pertain to anything else in life? You will get straight As when you least expect it. You will get a great job when you least expect it. That six-pack you want...when you least … Continue reading Broken sticker, not picker.
Did you know that you can tell who the Seattle Seahawks are playing by who comes up on Bumble or Tinder? I discovered this yesterday when I swiped past a bunch of dudes who work for the Cowboys or were in town from Texas. My friend suggested that I use these guys to work on … Continue reading Friends with Benefits.
I have decided to do a new thing when it comes to men. I am going to do the opposite of what I would normally do. It seems to me that past behavior hasn't been working so maybe it is time for something different. In the last week I have already messed up on item … Continue reading Do the opposite of what you usually do.
A few of my friends thought I had lost my mind because I booked a trip to Minneapolis, to go to the Minnesota State Fair. If you have read any of my other posts, you know I don't like people, especially large groups of them. I generally avoid concerts, festivals, large parties and any other … Continue reading The Minnesota State Fair
How is that even a thing? Since when can you get a ticket for something that is essentially invisible? I know the city of Seattle is broke but come on. Next thing you know they will start making up unmarked red zones or handicapped spaces. I took pictures to fight my ticket but according to … Continue reading A parking ticket for blocking an UNMARKED crosswalk?!?
I can just meet men in line for coffee. Starbucks for the win! They may not be the right ones but either way, I am meeting them... Today it was an older gentleman, probably in his 50s. He was very friendly but didn't seem to respond to non-verbal cues. When someone moves away from you, … Continue reading Who needs bars?