I have been talking about it for months, okay over a year, but now I am actually doing it. I am moving. I just signed a lease for a place in LA and my mid-career crisis is calling the shots. I am starting with a month to month place so that I don’t commit to a neighborhood before I know where I will be working. As an incredibly practical, well-organized and responsible person, I am slightly terrified yet mildly impressed. It is like watching a movie and I can’t wait to see what happens. Although, it would probably be better if there was no surprise involved and I knew what was planned for the second half. I like suspense but not when it is my life. But it will be fine, right? There is no reason to be concerned except for:
- I know 5 people in LA, tops. I am an extroverted introvert with a cat as a best friend moving to a place where I will know fewer people. That sounds like the perfect way to get me out of the house.
- I have been networking for the last 6 months and am no closer to a job than I was 6 months ago. I could practice tossing one of those big signs around. At least I could listen to my podcasts as I do it and I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone.
- I haven’t been working out and have a month to get this sorry state of affairs together. It is like getting a summer body without 9 months to prepare. Shit, I need to break up with someone…NOW!
- I hate traffic. Brilliant. Choose the worst place in the US for commuting.
- I am not vegan and I don’t like kombucha.
- I don’t care about celebrities or where to see them. The truth is, I wouldn’t recognize anyone anyway.
- I am not good at being fake. I really believe that when people say they want to have lunch with me, they do in fact want to have lunch with me.
- I am not a beach person. I don’t like sand. At least in Seattle I can blame the weather as the reason to avoid it. That and the beaches here don’t really have sand. I should start saying I am allergic to volleyball or that I get anxiety from the sound of the ocean.
- I don’t wear shorts. I just don’t. End of story.
- If I don’t have to get in a car, I won’t. I prefer to walk. Apparently no one does that in LA.
Yep, I’m all set. But at least it will be a change of scenery AND I will see the sun after the month of September. I may not go out in it but I will definitely see it. At this age it is better to hide from it. I don’t want people to think I am older than I actually am. The other day my mother said that people used to refer to “crow’s feet” as “laugh lines” like one is better than the other. How is that a good thing? I don’t want either. Especially not for job interviews. “Hi, yes, I am interviewing for a position that you would normally give to someone who could be my child.” Nope, I’m not nervous about any of this at all. My career was on a fine trajectory. I didn’t love my job but who really loves their job? Count on me to go and rethink things. To decide that I didn’t want regrets later in life. I can tell you now that if things don’t go well in LA, there will be more than just regrets. Can you tell that I am killing it with the power of positive thinking?
Maybe I should start drinking again. No, not by myself. Drinking in bars. Outside of the house. Maybe I will meet people that way. I don’t really remember how to do that though. I may end up drinking too much and turn into a liability… Having fewer inhibitions and a terrible memory, what could go wrong? A lot but I might meet more material for my stand-up. Yes, that is what I call men now – material. It makes it easier to process when things go badly. “It’s ok, I got a blog post out of it.” If it is really horrible I might even get two blog posts and 30 seconds for an open mic night. Thank goodness for that Notes feature on the iPhone. No longer do I have to remember a phrase for later, I can add it immediately or maybe when he is in the bathroom. It would be rude to do it in front of him. I was raised better than that.
So now I have exactly a month to prepare myself for the next chapter. How much stuff should I pack? Do I plan for the long-term or do I pack like I am going on a 2 week trip and will do laundry multiple times? Do I bring my own sheets for a furnished apartment? What about my own vacuum cleaner? Do I bring extra toilet paper in case they don’t provide enough? Should I bring a printer? What about coat hangers? How well furnished is furnished? At what point do I stop being obsessive and just roll with it?
Wish me luck because I think I am in for a helluva ride.