It's Monday. Again. And it feels like a Monday. But every day feels like a Monday at the moment. It isn't like my life varies dramatically from day to day. I spend a lot of time on Instagram, I walk back and forth to my kitchen and I binge on the news way more than … Continue reading Groundhog Day.
Now that I have all this time on my hands, you would think I would be a prolific writer. Every day would be full of pithy insights, fantastic social commentary and definitely some hilarious observations. Nope, not at all. Somehow my brain has shut down with this forced time of reflection. Ugh, reflection. Who wants … Continue reading Full of the milk of human kindness.
Written before Covid-19 changed Mondays as we once knew them... Why are Mondays so hard? They are like a new year, every week. The resolutions might be smaller but you still make them. Monday is the day you are going to start eating better, exercise more and definitely be more positive about...everything. You have a … Continue reading Mondays, not for the faint of heart.
Last night I flew home from Boston and I am still in shock that a person in my immediate area was able to fart the entire flight. How is that humanly possible? Yes, the intestine is incredibly long but even still, how is there that much gas? It was a 6 hour flight! Thank goodness … Continue reading Don’t eat before you fly, please.
It is a new year so I have to reassess my life. My biggest question at the moment is, at what point do I have to stop saying that I am going to marry rich? Eventually you age out, right? The older I get, the younger the trophy wives are. I am not saying I … Continue reading Too old to marry rich?
A few months ago, someone asked me what I would tell my 15-year-old self about having a "broken picker." I thought it was a really good question and applies to so much more than just my bad taste in men - although that is definitely a good place to start. These days my advice for … Continue reading If I had known then what I know now…
Last month I moved temporarily, to look for a job, and didn’t realize that there are things to consider besides a central location, frequency/infrequency of muggings and most importantly, nearby Chipotles. Here are a few key items that I unhappily learned: Think about proximity to a fire station. Not for safety purposes but for the … Continue reading A word of advice…
I went to yoga on Monday and my yoga instructor is an actor. Of course he is. Why would being a yoga instructor be his main job? I looked him up because of his last name - I thought he might be related to Pat Benatar. I’m still not sure if he is, because once … Continue reading Only in LA
Like Vegemite, I am an acquired taste. It doesn’t matter how much butter you use either. True Vegemite afficionados know what that means. Vegemite looks like it would taste good if you are far enough away to only see the color. It looks like it might taste like dark chocolate or a sweet spread of … Continue reading Vegemite – not for everyone.
I have been talking about it for months, okay over a year, but now I am actually doing it. I am moving. I just signed a lease for a place in LA and my mid-career crisis is calling the shots. I am starting with a month to month place so that I don't commit to … Continue reading Put your money where your mouth is.
I am on my flight to Kathmandu and the woman sitting next to me is meditating and chanting. It isn’t loud enough to be soothing but instead is like an annoying buzzing sound that you can’t figure out where it is coming from. She is doing hand movements as well while looking at her ipad … Continue reading I am not meant to fly commercial.
There is actually a reason that I am tired all the time. It isn't because I am part sloth or genetically pre-disposed to a sedentary lifestyle. I have an iron deficiency. My iron levels are less than half of what the low-end on a normal person should be. That explains the naps, the dizziness and … Continue reading Turns out I’m not just lazy.
It is rare that I ever get truly angry. I might get annoyed, peeved or mildly incensed but I don't usually throw tantrums or plan out complicated vendettas in my free time. I got that out of my system when I was a kid. I was more of a whiner. My Dad had a "No … Continue reading Seeing Red.
I have come to the realization that I am too set in my ways to live with another person again. The words that come to mind are OCD, curmudgeon and not bloody likely. This isn't to say that I will never date again although, see title of blog, that is an entirely different issue. Basically, … Continue reading Cohabitation just isn’t my bag.
I don't want to be an adult any more. I want to go back to being 5, when I thought I was Princess Leilani of Wailuku. I was convinced that I was stolen away from my real family by some Australian interlopers who forced me to live with them, away from the people who really … Continue reading #adultingishard
If I don't look my age, whose age do I look? Can I choose? Do I go young and pick someone in their 20s or do I say older because they look amazing? Would Helen Mirren be acceptable? She is in her 70s and is killing it. Seeing that I just had my birthday I … Continue reading You don’t look your age.
I know that yoga is supposed to be a place to clear your mind and be one with the floor or whatever your goals are. For me, it is a great place to work through those annoying thoughts that flood my mind when I am getting ready to fall asleep at night. As soon as … Continue reading A place where I can think…
The last time I was in Saigon, I was 19 and one of the only things I remember is my aunt’s friend Maurizio (an Italian veterinarian who specializes in camels or more specifically, the fleas found on camels….), smuggling rare turtles back to Cambodia in his underpants. We bought them at the pet market and … Continue reading Saigon, how you have changed.
Imagine our surprise when we got off the VietJet transfer bus and saw an Olympus Airways (https://www.olympusairways.gr/) plane on the tarmac in front of us. We were even more surprised when we got on the plane to Da Nang and there was an entirely European crew wearing one type of uniform plus two crew members … Continue reading Olympus Airways has seen better days…
I have written about the Starbucks' bathroom before but I feel like what I saw today deserves a mention. The Starbucks I frequent is in the middle of an affluent neighborhood in Seattle. There are very few homeless people, not a lot of bars and it is a pretty low-key place. This is the Starbucks … Continue reading Sex, drugs and rock & roll in the Starbucks bathroom…
I hate how reliant I am on my phone. If only I could go back to the days when my entire life wasn't connected to it. I still have my written to do list but that doesn't help with my list of appointments and reminders to get to them. Not to mention the frustration of … Continue reading Not today, Apple!
How is it possible that a city of 22 million people and a metro area that extends farther than the eye can see, be so inviting and accessible? You would think the size would make it intimidating and the number of people would seem overwhelming but it is neither of those things. Of course you … Continue reading Aventuras en la Ciudad de México
Well, I just wrote an email to a complete stranger on the internet asking for advice. That is totally normal, right? Instagram influencers definitely have a handle on what an unemployed marketing director should be doing with her life. Why would I go to a career coach? See this pot of spaghetti? I am throwing … Continue reading How’s the job search going?
*Written under the influence of cold meds. Can we please draw the line when it comes to talking on cell phones in public restrooms? Why do people feel the need to have conversations in there? If the call is so important, shouldn't your focus be on that rather than your bladder? Or if you have … Continue reading Do you really need that in here?*
Breaking News - I went to a bar on New Year's Eve! I rang in the New Year at the Snorting Elk at Crystal Mountain, a ski resort just outside Seattle. I can't remember the last time I went to a bar, let alone a bar where people are actively looking for a hook-up. Spoiler … Continue reading The Bar Scene.
My mom and I have been telling Dad for ages that he needs to get his ears checked. Of course being a stubborn man of a certain age he says that his hearing is fine and that we don't speak clearly or aren't speaking directly to him. Apparently speaking a little bit louder, looking at … Continue reading I AM NOT DEAF!
Christmas is almost here and with it my next slog to the airport. I love the idea of travel but hate the actuality of it - airports, planes, people... And let's be real here, airports are where social norms go to die. At times I feel like it is a glimpse into what armageddon might … Continue reading The Wonders of Air Travel
My father and I are very close but are diametrically opposed when it comes to politics and the nature of political correctness. While I have never heard him use the term snowflake, I am sure he has thought it. Before you start thinking he is up there with David Duke, let me clarify by saying … Continue reading My Dad, the Great Australian Comedian.
When it comes to dating, instead of doing that equation where you cut your age in half and add seven, my math is a little different. My thought process is as follows - if they were born after I got my period for the first time or was legally considered an adult, I am open … Continue reading Age & Dating
I have my first troll! Does this mean that I am on my way to making it? How many trolls do you need to be considered successful? Is there an equation that for every troll there are 10 people who like what you have to say? In that case, bring on the haters! Supposedly feedback … Continue reading thank u, next