Cohabitation just isn’t my bag.


I have come to the realization that I am too set in my ways to live with another person again.  The words that come to mind are OCD, curmudgeon and not bloody likely.  This isn’t to say that I will never date again although, see title of blog, that is an entirely different issue.  Basically, I like things the way I like them.  I now understand why my grandmother was so particular with her routines and “everything in its place” mentality.  I also understand why my grandparents had separate bedrooms for most of their married life.  They said it was because of my grandfather’s snoring but I think there was more to it.  Forget separate bedrooms, separate houses make even more sense.  Of course I want companionship and all the good things that come with it but it is the seeing behind the curtain part of it that I don’t want.  I don’t want you to see that I sleep in pj pants that are two sizes too big paired with t-shirts that are twenty years old.  I don’t want you to know that my freezer is full of old food that I feel guilty throwing away.  I don’t want you to see that my cupboards are filled with candy and chocolate that I never eat.  Don’t judge.  Maybe I am preparing for an apocalypse.  No, I don’t have an earthquake kit or a year’s worth of food.  I will survive on chocolate, frozen bread and a variety of tea bags and will be just fine.

My family and friends tell me that if I don’t meet someone soon, I will never be able to incorporate another person into my life.  I guess it is pretty obvious that I am set in my ways.  Yes, there are glasses in the cupboard that I prefer you don’t use and yes, I will tell you not to wear shoes in the house.  I will provide you with slippers though, so your feet don’t get cold.  That is reasonable, right?  If you have your own furniture and accessories, that is a problem.  I don’t know where they will fit.  Of course I will make room for you in my closet and bathroom but I can’t guarantee that it will be a smooth transition and that I will be gracious about it.  Like my grandmother, everything has its place and I am not sure where to put it other than where it is.  No, I am not a hoarder.  I have done a lot of closet cleaning out recently and feel like what I have is what I should have.  I may have too many pairs of jeans but I blame that on working in tech.  What else would I wear to the office?  I can’t go in yoga pants!  When will that become a thing?  I do remember hearing a story about a guy who wore his bathrobe to work.  Apparently it never crossed his mind that he shouldn’t, until his manager brought it up after complaints from others in the group.  To be clear, he did wear shorts underneath the bathrobe.  I am not sure if that makes it better but I do think leggings are far more appropriate.  Granted, I am not an engineer and while there is a lot of flexibililty, it is hard enough being a woman in this environment without adding unprofessional to the list of things not to be.  Apparently we can get away with cargo shorts though.  The head of HR only wore cargo shorts, even in the winter.  Or maybe she had those pants that you can unzip to make them shorts.  My dad wears those for fishing.  They scream, “I sit in an office all day doing office-y things.”  Not.

I hope that at some point what we wear won’t matter, that we really will be able to rely on how well we do our jobs to make the difference in how our careers progress.  We will wear items of clothing because we want to, not because we feel like we should.  If you ever see me in a pair of heels at the office, you know it isn’t because they are comfortable or I feel empowered in them.  I am wearing them because I have an important meeting and I feel like I should.  However, as I get older I do that less and less.  Who knows, maybe my yoga pants will make an appearance.  They are better than a bathrobe and take up less room in the closet.  Maybe cohabitation isn’t off the table…




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