It's Monday. Again. And it feels like a Monday. But every day feels like a Monday at the moment. It isn't like my life varies dramatically from day to day. I spend a lot of time on Instagram, I walk back and forth to my kitchen and I binge on the news way more than … Continue reading Groundhog Day.
Now that I have all this time on my hands, you would think I would be a prolific writer. Every day would be full of pithy insights, fantastic social commentary and definitely some hilarious observations. Nope, not at all. Somehow my brain has shut down with this forced time of reflection. Ugh, reflection. Who wants … Continue reading Full of the milk of human kindness.
It is a new year so I have to reassess my life. My biggest question at the moment is, at what point do I have to stop saying that I am going to marry rich? Eventually you age out, right? The older I get, the younger the trophy wives are. I am not saying I … Continue reading Too old to marry rich?
A few months ago, someone asked me what I would tell my 15-year-old self about having a "broken picker." I thought it was a really good question and applies to so much more than just my bad taste in men - although that is definitely a good place to start. These days my advice for … Continue reading If I had known then what I know now…
Like Vegemite, I am an acquired taste. It doesn’t matter how much butter you use either. True Vegemite afficionados know what that means. Vegemite looks like it would taste good if you are far enough away to only see the color. It looks like it might taste like dark chocolate or a sweet spread of … Continue reading Vegemite – not for everyone.
It is rare that I ever get truly angry. I might get annoyed, peeved or mildly incensed but I don't usually throw tantrums or plan out complicated vendettas in my free time. I got that out of my system when I was a kid. I was more of a whiner. My Dad had a "No … Continue reading Seeing Red.
I have come to the realization that I am too set in my ways to live with another person again. The words that come to mind are OCD, curmudgeon and not bloody likely. This isn't to say that I will never date again although, see title of blog, that is an entirely different issue. Basically, … Continue reading Cohabitation just isn’t my bag.
I don't want to be an adult any more. I want to go back to being 5, when I thought I was Princess Leilani of Wailuku. I was convinced that I was stolen away from my real family by some Australian interlopers who forced me to live with them, away from the people who really … Continue reading #adultingishard
When is it flirting and when is it being friendly? Are they working on business development or are they truly interested? You know that feeling when you aren't sure if the bartender is being nice or just trying to pad his tip? I feel like personal trainers, servers, real estate agents and hair stylists are … Continue reading Flirting or Business Development?*
My father and I are very close but are diametrically opposed when it comes to politics and the nature of political correctness. While I have never heard him use the term snowflake, I am sure he has thought it. Before you start thinking he is up there with David Duke, let me clarify by saying … Continue reading My Dad, the Great Australian Comedian.
When it comes to dating, instead of doing that equation where you cut your age in half and add seven, my math is a little different. My thought process is as follows - if they were born after I got my period for the first time or was legally considered an adult, I am open … Continue reading Age & Dating
I did something super impulsive while I was on vacation a few months ago... I actually gave in to the moment and hooked up with someone. Most of my friends would commend me for letting loose and say it was about time. However, I am completely neurotic and not very good at chalking it up … Continue reading Asking for a friend…
I complain about being single and I never do anything to change it so last night I opened the dating apps again. I thought that maybe this time I would be able to commit and actually message someone, chat a little bit and then go out for coffee. All I could think as I swiped … Continue reading I tried again…sort’ve.
"You will meet someone when you least expect it." Least expect what? I have never understood that saying. And why doesn't it pertain to anything else in life? You will get straight As when you least expect it. You will get a great job when you least expect it. That six-pack you want...when you least … Continue reading Broken sticker, not picker.
Did you know that you can tell who the Seattle Seahawks are playing by who comes up on Bumble or Tinder? I discovered this yesterday when I swiped past a bunch of dudes who work for the Cowboys or were in town from Texas. My friend suggested that I use these guys to work on … Continue reading Friends with Benefits.
I have decided to do a new thing when it comes to men. I am going to do the opposite of what I would normally do. It seems to me that past behavior hasn't been working so maybe it is time for something different. In the last week I have already messed up on item … Continue reading Do the opposite of what you usually do.
I have a staring problem. I don't always realize I am staring which makes it worse. I once had a woman want to fight me because she thought I was looking at her when I didn't even realize I was. She may have been on something and been slightly paranoid but it didn't help to … Continue reading Thank goodness for sunglasses.
"Email me." You asked me out for a drink. Why should I email you? Shouldn't you message me to set it up? If this is dating, I want no part of it. If you aren't interested, don't ask me out for drinks. Plain and simple. It is worse to be asked with no follow-through than … Continue reading “Want to grab a drink?”
Did the universe not get the memo? Was Mercury in Retrograde? Is there more airy-fairy, woo-woo shit I can blame it on? So far this year my cat "went to college", my dad started radiation for prostate cancer, my car was broken into and my entire wallet was stolen and I can't escape seeing the … Continue reading 2018 is supposed to be my year…
I am not sure that my picker actually broke. I think it just never formed properly. Maybe it started with Brett Chuckovich (I had to use his last name because it is so great) in kindergarten when we played kissing boys and kissing girls or maybe it was JJ in 3rd grade... Probably not though. … Continue reading How did my picker break?
I have been single and unemployed for almost the same amount of time. I don't count my 8 month rebound as a change to my single status. We will sweep him under the rug along with my lapse in judgment. Yes, I know that rebounds aren't supposed to last that long but I was traveling … Continue reading Dating & looking for a job – why they are similar and why I hate them
Have you ever had someone ask you out on a date and then completely forget about it? Within a week of the ask? No, me neither. Oh wait, it just happened. It is an experience not to be forgotten or replicated, especially when you see the brain fart happen right in front of you. It … Continue reading Realizing your Picker is still broken.