I have a staring problem. I don’t always realize I am staring which makes it worse. I once had a woman want to fight me because she thought I was looking at her when I didn’t even realize I was. She may have been on something and been slightly paranoid but it didn’t help to defuse the situation. Although now that I think about it, the guy she was with had a really odd hairstyle. He had pig-tails in the front, near his chin… Definitely not something you see every day, if ever. Totally worth staring at if I was indeed staring.
Recently I was in a coffee shop staring into space and when I zoned back in I realized I was staring at a guy I had dated for a while. Since we are no longer on speaking terms that wasn’t awkward at all. The good thing is that I didn’t think, “Oh what a good looking guy.” I didn’t have any reaction. I was totally ambivalent. It is the small wins that matter.
However, this is where sunglasses come in. If I am wearing them I can stare at anyone consciously or not and it doesn’t matter. No one really knows. The problem with living in Seattle is that sunglasses aren’t always a necessary accessory so that can be a minor hurdle. You also can’t wear them inside because it is rare that the sun would be shining so brightly that you can’t see the person/screen/book in front of you. I am also not cool or famous enough (at all) to think I need them indoors and I don’t have the confidence to pretend I am.
I also have “resting bitch face” when I don’t even mean it so that doesn’t win me any new friends. I was at a burlesque show and the emcee made a comment about my dead eyes… My friends are in dispute as to whether or not the word used was “dead” or “desperate” or maybe it was “devil.” I would like to think my eyes are devoid of emotion, not quite dead. Either way, not the most flattering description and yet another reason to wear sunglasses.
Fortunately Seattle is now in the throes of summer so I can wear sunglasses proudly and frequently without being famous or blind. I have three months to stare unabashedly and then when October hits I can forget that I don’t have sunglasses on and get accused of staring with my dead eyes for the next 9 months.