“Want to grab a drink?”

5 cats

“Email me.”

You asked me out for a drink.  Why should I email you?  Shouldn’t you message me to set it up?  If this is dating, I want no part of it.  If you aren’t interested, don’t ask me out for drinks.  Plain and simple.  It is worse to be asked with no follow-through than to not be asked at all.  It isn’t friendly and it absolutely isn’t necessary.

What happened to making someone feel special and worth chasing?  Has online dating and the whole swiping phenomenon erased the idea of making people feel important?  Or do people not know how to end a conversation?  I don’t usually use, “Want to grab a drink?” as my go to.  I usually say, “See you later,” or “Have a good rest of your day.”  Is it considered polite to ask someone to do something and then not follow through?  The modern day version of “Let’s do lunch”?

So now you might ask, given my track record…  “Did you email him?”  Of course I did.  Not being a doormat is a work in progress.  I also thought he might be a good transition guy.  Someone to keep me occupied and maybe have fun with until I find a job.  Of course he is too young for me but that doesn’t matter with someone who is going to be Mr. Right Now.  In my email I told him that I was going away for a few days but to let me know his availability.  What was the response?  “Why don’t you email me when you get back and we can figure something out?”  NOPE!  Not happening.  Done.

Nothing like a lack of interest to annihilate your self-esteem.  Who wouldn’t want an unemployed cat lady who spends her days in a Starbucks writing about her “broken picker”?  As you can imagine, I am fighting the men off.

How are some people good at dating?  I have friends who love it.  They think it is fun.  A good way to get a free meal.  How do you even find people to date?  Or rather, where do I find people who want to date me?  Christian Mingle?  J-Date?  Farmers Only?  Our Time?  Bumble and Tinder aren’t doing it for me.  Neither is meeting people in real life.

My friends say I need to put myself out there.  Out where?  Bars aren’t my thing and talking to random strangers isn’t my idea of a good time either.  I still have hopes for the climbing gym but I feel like I need to become a better climber first.  Or do I play the damsel in distress?  “Oh my gosh, you are so good at that.  Do you have any tips?”  For anyone who knows me, that is a laughable idea.  I am about as likely to ask for help as I am to make eye contact.  Not going to happen.

My friends and family also say, “You will meet someone when you least expect it.”  I probably already have but am so oblivious that I ignored him and looked at the ground instead.  This all makes me sound like an awkward introvert but I am actually good with people.  It just needs to be the right environment – at work, traveling or in normal day to day engagement.  As soon as there might be an attraction or flirtation component, it all goes downhill.  The resting bitch face doesn’t help…

Thank goodness I like cats.














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