The other night I observed the most awkward marriage proposal. I never realized that being party to something like that could feel so uncomfortable. First of all it was at a very busy restaurant at a high top table with 8 other people. Secondly, in case you missed the importance of my last sentence, IT … Continue reading I am not a romantic but…
I have decided I am never going to date again. Not because quarantine has made me into even more of a misanthrope than I already was or because people are gross and don't wash their hands at the best of times or even because it has turned every ounce of muscle into fat. I say … Continue reading Bringing Sexy Back – Sleep Apnea Edition
It is a new year so I have to reassess my life. My biggest question at the moment is, at what point do I have to stop saying that I am going to marry rich? Eventually you age out, right? The older I get, the younger the trophy wives are. I am not saying I … Continue reading Too old to marry rich?
A few months ago, someone asked me what I would tell my 15-year-old self about having a "broken picker." I thought it was a really good question and applies to so much more than just my bad taste in men - although that is definitely a good place to start. These days my advice for … Continue reading If I had known then what I know now…
Like Vegemite, I am an acquired taste. It doesn’t matter how much butter you use either. True Vegemite afficionados know what that means. Vegemite looks like it would taste good if you are far enough away to only see the color. It looks like it might taste like dark chocolate or a sweet spread of … Continue reading Vegemite – not for everyone.
I have come to the realization that I am too set in my ways to live with another person again. The words that come to mind are OCD, curmudgeon and not bloody likely. This isn't to say that I will never date again although, see title of blog, that is an entirely different issue. Basically, … Continue reading Cohabitation just isn’t my bag.
When is it flirting and when is it being friendly? Are they working on business development or are they truly interested? You know that feeling when you aren't sure if the bartender is being nice or just trying to pad his tip? I feel like personal trainers, servers, real estate agents and hair stylists are … Continue reading Flirting or Business Development?*
Breaking News - I went to a bar on New Year's Eve! I rang in the New Year at the Snorting Elk at Crystal Mountain, a ski resort just outside Seattle. I can't remember the last time I went to a bar, let alone a bar where people are actively looking for a hook-up. Spoiler … Continue reading The Bar Scene.
When it comes to dating, instead of doing that equation where you cut your age in half and add seven, my math is a little different. My thought process is as follows - if they were born after I got my period for the first time or was legally considered an adult, I am open … Continue reading Age & Dating
I did something super impulsive while I was on vacation a few months ago... I actually gave in to the moment and hooked up with someone. Most of my friends would commend me for letting loose and say it was about time. However, I am completely neurotic and not very good at chalking it up … Continue reading Asking for a friend…
I complain about being single and I never do anything to change it so last night I opened the dating apps again. I thought that maybe this time I would be able to commit and actually message someone, chat a little bit and then go out for coffee. All I could think as I swiped … Continue reading I tried again…sort’ve.
The other day, my mom asked me if I worry about people reading about themselves in my blog. Obviously I don't because if I did, I wouldn't have created a website and it wouldn't be all over my Facebook page. Next thing you know it will have an Instagram account, a Twitter handle and a … Continue reading What if they read about themselves?!?
"You will meet someone when you least expect it." Least expect what? I have never understood that saying. And why doesn't it pertain to anything else in life? You will get straight As when you least expect it. You will get a great job when you least expect it. That six-pack you want...when you least … Continue reading Broken sticker, not picker.
Did you know that you can tell who the Seattle Seahawks are playing by who comes up on Bumble or Tinder? I discovered this yesterday when I swiped past a bunch of dudes who work for the Cowboys or were in town from Texas. My friend suggested that I use these guys to work on … Continue reading Friends with Benefits.
I have decided to do a new thing when it comes to men. I am going to do the opposite of what I would normally do. It seems to me that past behavior hasn't been working so maybe it is time for something different. In the last week I have already messed up on item … Continue reading Do the opposite of what you usually do.
I can just meet men in line for coffee. Starbucks for the win! They may not be the right ones but either way, I am meeting them... Today it was an older gentleman, probably in his 50s. He was very friendly but didn't seem to respond to non-verbal cues. When someone moves away from you, … Continue reading Who needs bars?
I just got hit on by an adult version of Rod or Todd from the Simpson's. Just add dark glasses and an orange button down and there you go. Or maybe he looked more like a dorky Hyde from That 70s Show. I don't think he could have been older than 26 and I could … Continue reading Jason, the aspiring baker.
I have a staring problem. I don't always realize I am staring which makes it worse. I once had a woman want to fight me because she thought I was looking at her when I didn't even realize I was. She may have been on something and been slightly paranoid but it didn't help to … Continue reading Thank goodness for sunglasses.
"Email me." You asked me out for a drink. Why should I email you? Shouldn't you message me to set it up? If this is dating, I want no part of it. If you aren't interested, don't ask me out for drinks. Plain and simple. It is worse to be asked with no follow-through than … Continue reading “Want to grab a drink?”
Did the universe not get the memo? Was Mercury in Retrograde? Is there more airy-fairy, woo-woo shit I can blame it on? So far this year my cat "went to college", my dad started radiation for prostate cancer, my car was broken into and my entire wallet was stolen and I can't escape seeing the … Continue reading 2018 is supposed to be my year…
I am not sure that my picker actually broke. I think it just never formed properly. Maybe it started with Brett Chuckovich (I had to use his last name because it is so great) in kindergarten when we played kissing boys and kissing girls or maybe it was JJ in 3rd grade... Probably not though. … Continue reading How did my picker break?
I have been single and unemployed for almost the same amount of time. I don't count my 8 month rebound as a change to my single status. We will sweep him under the rug along with my lapse in judgment. Yes, I know that rebounds aren't supposed to last that long but I was traveling … Continue reading Dating & looking for a job – why they are similar and why I hate them
Have you ever had someone ask you out on a date and then completely forget about it? Within a week of the ask? No, me neither. Oh wait, it just happened. It is an experience not to be forgotten or replicated, especially when you see the brain fart happen right in front of you. It … Continue reading Realizing your Picker is still broken.
There’s a game I subconsciously play in my head. It sounds a lot like “Marco! Polo!” but instead it is a guy yelling, “Broken!” and me yelling, “Pick me!” It isn’t quite as much fun since there is no swimming pool and there are usually tears at the end. Mine or his depending on the … Continue reading Marco! Polo!
I think that saying he had the depth of a puddle is generous. Douchebag, Dennis Bag (for the kids so I don't have to explain what a douchebag actually is) or DB (for short). We all make mistakes but this one was a big one. They say that love is blind but in my case … Continue reading Depth of a Puddle