Asking for a friend…

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I did something super impulsive while I was on vacation a few months ago…  I actually gave in to the moment and hooked up with someone.  Most of my friends would commend me for letting loose and say it was about time.  However, I am completely neurotic and not very good at chalking it up to another one of life’s experiences.  Instead, I keep dissecting it.  At least I didn’t say, “I never do this” or “I hope this doesn’t give you the wrong idea about me,” right?  Unfortunately I have all of these questions running around in my head for something that shouldn’t even be an issue.  And to be honest, I don’t think I even want a repeat.  No, I know I don’t want a repeat.  But…as women we are conditioned to try for more, whether it makes sense or not.   Here is a peek into the real-time crazy.  For accuracy, read it quickly with a lack of concern for punctuation:

Does the idea of being easy go away once you hit a certain age? Do people still judge you for not waiting “the appropriate amount of time” (whatever that is) to sleep with someone?  Why do you care if people judge you?  Doesn’t that reflect more on them?  Do you get to an age where a one night stand can actually turn into a relationship? Have you ever had a rebound that you don’t want to be a rebound? What if it is a rebound from a rebound?  Those are considered therapeutic, aren’t they?  Isn’t the best way to get over someone to get under someone?

Take a breath here.

Is it true that if they like you, you will hear from them ALL the time? What if they are really busy? What if they have other priorities? When are you just making excuses for a lack of interest?  What if you are making excuses for your lack of interest?  How do you learn to be patient?  Why would you want to hear from them all the time?  Is “what’s meant to be will be” actually real?  What about “absence makes the heart grow fonder”?  Where are my sunglasses?

Take another breath.

How do you not feel like it is a reflection on you when you don’t hear from them?  That you aren’t good enough? That you did something wrong?  What if you don’t actually want anything more from the other person?  Why haven’t you reached out?  Should you?  Are you being rude that you haven’t?  Is there an off switch that will allow you to enjoy it for what it was?  What if it wasn’t actually that enjoyable and now you have to add to your number?  God forbid it increases.  Who even keeps a number after 30?  How do you just let things evolve without overthinking them?  What does being a mature adult look like in a situation like this? Since when do I want to be a mature adult?  Who did I say I would go to dinner with on Wednesday?

And there is your look into a modern woman’s brain.  Terrifying, isn’t it?

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