Realizing your Picker is still broken.


Have you ever had someone ask you out on a date and then completely forget about it? Within a week of the ask? No, me neither. Oh wait, it just happened.

It is an experience not to be forgotten or replicated, especially when you see the brain fart happen right in front of you. It is best when you have tried on 7 outfits, actually put on make-up, brushed your hair and worn shoes that aren’t sneakers. It is hard to render me speechless but there was definitely a moment where the abject horror on my face was my only response.

Let me set the scene for you… The plan was to meet at a cocktail party for a friend’s birthday and then go to dinner. I got there an hour after it started because of the above wardrobe issues. I walked in as my date was just about to leave. I was slightly surprised, OK, really surprised since I assumed we were leaving together. When he said goodbye, I thought it might be a good idea to ask about our future plans. (Side-note, I don’t make it a practice of asking men out because I am too oblivious to tell if they might actually be interested in me. That being said, I definitely didn’t initiate this outing.) He blinked quickly and looked like a goldfish with the way his mouth was trying to form words but couldn’t. Finally he said, “Dinner? When were we doing that?” For those of you who know my history with the opposite sex, this probably doesn’t seem that far-fetched but when it is a guy who actually seems normal, stable, basically an adult, it comes as a huge shock. My brain finally regrouped and I said, “Tonight. You asked me last Friday.”

To be fair, the last time I saw him, he had just flown in from London and was on all sorts of allergy medicine so he was not firing on all cylinders. However, we all want to feel important and think that we are on the other person’s mind, don’t we, especially when it is a new crush? To have reality thrown at you that you aren’t/weren’t even a passing thought is a huge ego blow.

Once he had composed himself he said, “Not surprising that I am single, is it?” Nope buddy, it isn’t.

So what did I learn from this?

1) Always send a calendar invite when you make plans with someone. Especially with someone who is in a different time zone every week.

2) Don’t build someone up to be more than he actually is. The disappointment that can ensue is devastating.

3) Always surround yourself with amazing friends who will pick you up and brush you off after an exchange like that.

4) Don’t think your broken picker is fixed just because someone seems like a fully formed adult.

Did I end up having dinner with him? Yes.  Was it fun? Eh.  It was ok. Was I awkward and terrible at flirting? Yes.


2 thoughts on “Realizing your Picker is still broken.

  1. Tony says:

    What say we set our expectations impossibly low and see where that lands? Oh, been there done that. Keep swinging (meant as a baseball metaphor not a polyamorous suggestion)


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