The other night I observed the most awkward marriage proposal. I never realized that being party to something like that could feel so uncomfortable. First of all it was at a very busy restaurant at a high top table with 8 other people. Secondly, in case you missed the importance of my last sentence, IT … Continue reading I am not a romantic but…
Tag: funny
Words are hard.
Last night when I was willing myself to go to sleep, I started thinking about words. Or more precisely words I can never remember. And yes, this is a common occurrence and it is always the same words. God forbid my brain mixes it up a little. Do other people obsess about words like this? … Continue reading Words are hard.
Groundhog Day.
It's Monday. Again. And it feels like a Monday. But every day feels like a Monday at the moment. It isn't like my life varies dramatically from day to day. I spend a lot of time on Instagram, I walk back and forth to my kitchen and I binge on the news way more than … Continue reading Groundhog Day.
Full of the milk of human kindness.
Now that I have all this time on my hands, you would think I would be a prolific writer. Every day would be full of pithy insights, fantastic social commentary and definitely some hilarious observations. Nope, not at all. Somehow my brain has shut down with this forced time of reflection. Ugh, reflection. Who wants … Continue reading Full of the milk of human kindness.
Mondays, not for the faint of heart.
Written before Covid-19 changed Mondays as we once knew them... Why are Mondays so hard? They are like a new year, every week. The resolutions might be smaller but you still make them. Monday is the day you are going to start eating better, exercise more and definitely be more positive about...everything. You have a … Continue reading Mondays, not for the faint of heart.
Don’t eat before you fly, please.
Last night I flew home from Boston and I am still in shock that a person in my immediate area was able to fart the entire flight. How is that humanly possible? Yes, the intestine is incredibly long but even still, how is there that much gas? It was a 6 hour flight! Thank goodness … Continue reading Don’t eat before you fly, please.
Too old to marry rich?
It is a new year so I have to reassess my life. My biggest question at the moment is, at what point do I have to stop saying that I am going to marry rich? Eventually you age out, right? The older I get, the younger the trophy wives are. I am not saying I … Continue reading Too old to marry rich?
If I had known then what I know now…
A few months ago, someone asked me what I would tell my 15-year-old self about having a "broken picker." I thought it was a really good question and applies to so much more than just my bad taste in men - although that is definitely a good place to start. These days my advice for … Continue reading If I had known then what I know now…
A word of advice…
Last month I moved temporarily, to look for a job, and didn’t realize that there are things to consider besides a central location, frequency/infrequency of muggings and most importantly, nearby Chipotles. Here are a few key items that I unhappily learned: Think about proximity to a fire station. Not for safety purposes but for the … Continue reading A word of advice…
Only in LA
I went to yoga on Monday and my yoga instructor is an actor. Of course he is. Why would being a yoga instructor be his main job? I looked him up because of his last name - I thought he might be related to Pat Benatar. I’m still not sure if he is, because once … Continue reading Only in LA
Vegemite – not for everyone.
Like Vegemite, I am an acquired taste. It doesn’t matter how much butter you use either. True Vegemite afficionados know what that means. Vegemite looks like it would taste good if you are far enough away to only see the color. It looks like it might taste like dark chocolate or a sweet spread of … Continue reading Vegemite – not for everyone.
Put your money where your mouth is.
I have been talking about it for months, okay over a year, but now I am actually doing it. I am moving. I just signed a lease for a place in LA and my mid-career crisis is calling the shots. I am starting with a month to month place so that I don't commit to … Continue reading Put your money where your mouth is.
I am not meant to fly commercial.
I am on my flight to Kathmandu and the woman sitting next to me is meditating and chanting. It isn’t loud enough to be soothing but instead is like an annoying buzzing sound that you can’t figure out where it is coming from. She is doing hand movements as well while looking at her ipad … Continue reading I am not meant to fly commercial.
Turns out I’m not just lazy.
There is actually a reason that I am tired all the time. It isn't because I am part sloth or genetically pre-disposed to a sedentary lifestyle. I have an iron deficiency. My iron levels are less than half of what the low-end on a normal person should be. That explains the naps, the dizziness and … Continue reading Turns out I’m not just lazy.
Cohabitation just isn’t my bag.
I have come to the realization that I am too set in my ways to live with another person again. The words that come to mind are OCD, curmudgeon and not bloody likely. This isn't to say that I will never date again although, see title of blog, that is an entirely different issue. Basically, … Continue reading Cohabitation just isn’t my bag.
#adultingishard
I don't want to be an adult any more. I want to go back to being 5, when I thought I was Princess Leilani of Wailuku. I was convinced that I was stolen away from my real family by some Australian interlopers who forced me to live with them, away from the people who really … Continue reading #adultingishard
I am definitely not a minimalist.
For the last week, I have been staying with my mom, to help her clean out the closets. The timing is perfect since my Dad is out of town and we can make piles all over the house without someone asking, "What are you doing? What is this? Why is it here? What is all … Continue reading I am definitely not a minimalist.
A place where I can think…
I know that yoga is supposed to be a place to clear your mind and be one with the floor or whatever your goals are. For me, it is a great place to work through those annoying thoughts that flood my mind when I am getting ready to fall asleep at night. As soon as … Continue reading A place where I can think…
My Broken Picker 