Turns out I’m not just lazy.

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There is actually a reason that I am tired all the time.  It isn’t because I am part sloth or genetically pre-disposed to a sedentary lifestyle.  I have an iron deficiency.  My iron levels are less than half of what the low-end on a normal person should be.  That explains the naps, the dizziness and the head rushes when I stand up.  Here was I thinking that I was the laziest person on earth but now I have an excuse.  Let’s be honest though, I have never been super high energy.  It isn’t in my DNA to go for a spontaneous run or to pick up a last minute spin class just because.  I have to plan for exercise and prepare myself mentally to actually do it.  I don’t look at my calendar in the morning and think, “Maybe I can squeeze in a barre class.”  I admire those people who do.  I wish I preferred exercise to…  I don’t know… EVERYTHING.  When I go on trips, I will walk for hours so that I don’t have to factor in getting exercise. “It will only take us an hour to walk there?  No problem.  We should probably leave now.”  It is nice to know that the hotel has a gym but it is rare that I will actually see it.  There was a time when I was motivated.  It was short-lived but it existed.  To get it back again I probably need a lobotomy.

Now that this iron issue has been diagnosed I have to get weekly iron infusions for the next month.  It sounds way worse than it is.  I sit in a La-Z-Boy type recliner and am fed snacks for two hours while they pump me full of an iron solution.  I was also given a warm blanket like they have at spas.  I think they must have a warming drawer or something.  When I say blanket, it is really more of a sheet to remind me that I am still in a hospital, with beeping machines and staff wearing scrubs.  It is still better than going into the office.  Did I really just write that?  The office isn’t that bad but no one feeds me snacks or gives me a warm blanket.  I am usually left to my own devices and expected to pump things out of my brain.  I had this idea that I would work from my La-Z-Boy but it was so easy to check out that I didn’t even bother opening my computer.  When do we ever allow ourselves to sit and do nothing?  Not that I recommend an iron infusion to be able to do that.

Did you know that people with anemia have a tendency to eat more ice than most humans?  Strange but true.  I have been eating ice like it is going out of style.  Thank goodness I don’t live in Europe where most drinks are served at room temperature.  My signature move when I sit down at a restaurant is to ask for a giant glass of iced water.  I am also high maintenance in that I need constant refills.  Maybe I should just ask for a pitcher.  I could say I am going through menopause and get overheated easily.  Too much information?  Is that tempting fate?  I don’t want to go through that hell anytime soon.  Low iron is enough of a burden at this point.

Since I started writing this I have had another infusion.  I asked one of the nurses when I would start to feel better.  She said, “Hard to tell.  You might never feel a difference.”  Ummm, is medicine an art or a science?  Essentially, this procedure will stop me from having a heart attack but I might always feel like I a decrepit 100 year old.  Cool.  Let’s just hope that insurance covers all of it otherwise I am paying for the possibility of needing a nap at 3pm every day.  Sounds like my father.  Not the payment part.  Just the napping.  Every time I call home my father is either going to lie down, has been lying down or is lying down.  Maybe tiredness is in my genes.  Maybe this is my new reality.  If I can figure out how to work from my bed then I will be all set.  Somehow I don’t see that being an option unless I marry rich, win the lottery or become a best-selling writer.  Of those three far-fetched plans, the last one *could* happen before the other two.  I guess I won’t be working from bed anytime soon.  See you at work.

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