I have written about the Starbucks bathroom before but I feel like what I saw today deserves a mention.  The Starbucks I frequent is in the middle of an affluent neighborhood in Seattle.  There are very few homeless people, not a lot of bars and it is a pretty low-key place.  This is the Starbucks that Howard Schultz goes to on a regular basis since he lives in the neighborhood.  Hopefully that gives you a good idea of what we are dealing with here.  Not a lot of riff-raff, just a lot of ladies who lunch and retired folks reading the paper in front of the fire.

Well, I just went to the bathroom at 3pm on a Wednesday and the middle aged woman in the stall before me was doing cocaine.  How do I know this?  I was in college.  I have been to Las Vegas.  I have ex-boyfriends.  She also left at least half a line behind.  I am hoping that she wasn’t snorting it off the seat because that does a number on my germaphopia.  I am going to assume that it spilled and she didn’t notice.  She definitely looked flushed and flustered when she left and she apologized.  I am not sure why she apologized since there was no reason to.  Heightened sense of paranoia?  Does that happen with cocaine, not just weed?  Did she have a skewed sense of time and felt like she was taking too long?  Maybe that explains the spillage.

And let’s just entertain the idea that it wasn’t cocaine…  What was it?  Powdered sugar?  Corn starch?  Baking soda?  None of those things make any sense either.  Unless she is more of a germaphobe than I am and it was really Ajax and she was cleaning the toilet.  That totally sounds realistic.  Why wouldn’t you do that while you wait for your coffee?  One of those pay it forward situations…?  I left the bathroom cleaner than I found it.

On the other hand, I get that being in Seattle through the winter is hard and we all need a pick me up here and there but is cocaine really the answer?  I usually default to a vacation somewhere sunny or a SAD (seasonal affective disorder) lamp if I am on a budget.  Don’t tell me that vacations are expensive because so is cocaine.  It might have been Adderall too.  Let’s not rule out other recreational drug options.  I have seen her in here before and she has always been loud and quite animated.  Now I know why.  Maybe next time I should ask her to share so I can figure out what we are dealing with here.  Do a little hands-on research.  It might add an entirely new perspective to my Starbucks visit.  I do need more of a sense of adventure in my day to day encounters.  Bring on the booger sugar!