I just got hit on by an adult version of Rod or Todd from the Simpson's. Just add dark glasses and an orange button down and there you go. Or maybe he looked more like a dorky Hyde from That 70s Show. I don't think he could have been older than 26 and I could … Continue reading Jason, the aspiring baker.
I have never been good at telling age. I can tell if someone is under 20 or over 50 but in between those decades I can't tell specifics. Don't get me wrong, I can tell ranges... Of course I can tell the difference between a 25 year old and a 49 year old but between … Continue reading Good genes or just denial?
I have a staring problem. I don't always realize I am staring which makes it worse. I once had a woman want to fight me because she thought I was looking at her when I didn't even realize I was. She may have been on something and been slightly paranoid but it didn't help to … Continue reading Thank goodness for sunglasses.
"Email me." You asked me out for a drink. Why should I email you? Shouldn't you message me to set it up? If this is dating, I want no part of it. If you aren't interested, don't ask me out for drinks. Plain and simple. It is worse to be asked with no follow-through than … Continue reading “Want to grab a drink?”
Did the universe not get the memo? Was Mercury in Retrograde? Is there more airy-fairy, woo-woo shit I can blame it on? So far this year my cat "went to college", my dad started radiation for prostate cancer, my car was broken into and my entire wallet was stolen and I can't escape seeing the … Continue reading 2018 is supposed to be my year…
I am not sure that my picker actually broke. I think it just never formed properly. Maybe it started with Brett Chuckovich (I had to use his last name because it is so great) in kindergarten when we played kissing boys and kissing girls or maybe it was JJ in 3rd grade... Probably not though. … Continue reading How did my picker break?
I have been single and unemployed for almost the same amount of time. I don't count my 8 month rebound as a change to my single status. We will sweep him under the rug along with my lapse in judgment. Yes, I know that rebounds aren't supposed to last that long but I was traveling … Continue reading Dating & looking for a job – why they are similar and why I hate them
Have you ever had someone ask you out on a date and then completely forget about it? Within a week of the ask? No, me neither. Oh wait, it just happened. It is an experience not to be forgotten or replicated, especially when you see the brain fart happen right in front of you. It … Continue reading Realizing your Picker is still broken.
I was cold. I was tired. I was in Milwaukee. For anyone who thinks business travel is glamorous, it isn't. I had no expectations and assumed it would be more of the same, yet another stop on a grueling itinerary. To be honest, the trip didn't start off well. I had forgotten to book my … Continue reading Milwaukee, not just brats and beer.*
I feel like a caveat or three might be necessary for this post. The wound hasn’t fully healed so the sarcasm might be more biting and the bitterness more evident. Sometimes a rebound can hurt as much as the real thing. I met Casper last year when I was on my Starve, Cry, Wallow journey. … Continue reading Casper the Emotionally Crippled Ghost
There’s a game I subconsciously play in my head. It sounds a lot like “Marco! Polo!” but instead it is a guy yelling, “Broken!” and me yelling, “Pick me!” It isn’t quite as much fun since there is no swimming pool and there are usually tears at the end. Mine or his depending on the … Continue reading Marco! Polo!
I think that saying he had the depth of a puddle is generous. Douchebag, Dennis Bag (for the kids so I don't have to explain what a douchebag actually is) or DB (for short). We all make mistakes but this one was a big one. They say that love is blind but in my case … Continue reading Depth of a Puddle
My friend Mary Beth says I have a broken picker when it comes to men. She doesn’t say it to hurt my feelings, it is just an observation. For those of you who don’t know what that means, here are some examples. You know you have a broken picker when, 1) You meet a much … Continue reading My Broken Picker
My dad says that my mom is allergic to exercise. I think it must be hereditary. I hate it. With a passion. Every minute of it. Even yoga. My friends don't believe me because I am pretty active. I have played volleyball, tennis, roller derby and now am working on learning to climb and honing … Continue reading Allergic to Exercise
One of my friends says that for the last 10 months I have been on an Eat, Pray, Love journey. So far it has just been eat because I don’t pray and I certainly haven’t found any love, at least not the kind of love that a single woman with two cats hopes to find. … Continue reading Eat, Pray, Love
You know you spend too much time at the coffee shop near your house when, 1) Your father calls it your “office” and asks if you are there every time he calls. 2) You are contemplating getting a job as a barista because you might just as well get paid for being there. 3) You … Continue reading Seriously, what am I doing with my life?