I know it is a necessity but why does it have to be so horrible?  I lie there, under the bright lights with those stupid protective glasses on, and everything is clenched like I am in fight or flight mode.  My insurance allows me to go three times a year so of course I do but gearing up for it is such an ordeal.  I can’t imagine what it must be like for people who don’t floss regularly.  Is it discomfort with a side of shame and scolding?  I wonder if medieval torture chambers had a dentist chair or something like it.  That would for sure make me confess to anything.

And why do they always ask so many questions when you can’t answer?  I feel so rude.  I wasn’t brought up to ignore people.  Waiting to answer in between rinses makes me anxious.  It isn’t like what I have to say is all that interesting either.  It is the worst case of small talk ever.  I suppose hygienists learn to interpret mumbling and grunting fairly well over time.  I wonder if that is in the job description – must speak slurry mumble fluently.  What a gross job.  Can you imagine what they have to look at multiple times a day?  It is up there with being a podiatrist.  Not my idea of a good time in any way, shape or form.

And when they read out lists of numbers…  “2, 2, 3, 3, 1, 2, 2, 3…” Are they good or bad?  At the end am I going to be told that my teeth will fall out if I don’t change my toothpaste or stop eating sugar?  Not to mention you could die in the chair if you have a heart issue.  Something about the bacteria getting into your blood stream when they clean your teeth.  Makes going to the dentist sound even better, doesn’t it?

At least I am done for the year.  I now have up to 6 months to prepare myself for the next round of torture.  Let’s hope none of my teeth fall out in the meantime.